Peter and the Test Tube Babies - Peter's old blog logs

We did it!.
Against the odds. We did it. No. I dont mean we made and played the show after thirty two hours and seven flights (one missed! Thanks Lufthansa..!)
No. I mean we went the whole weekend without mentioning Borat!...Nice!
Borat was actually filmed in the Romanian countryside. Kazahkstan is suprisingly oriental. It actually borders Tibet, China, Siberia and Mongolia.

We played the Kazahkstan National Football stadium where England will be playing a world cup qualifier later in the qualifying stages. I hope they clean the toilets . I cant imagine posh taking a dump in there and that was the best dressing room

See if you can spot what may ruin the atmosphere of the show?!! Answer later...

Security was lapse. 500 machine gun toting army and police!!!

LOOK BEHIND YOU!!

I gave my usual press conference

My sister and also No. 4 pr....... Stop!!

We tried on Kazak hats. As you do!...Rickey (Sound Engineer)

Not my sister...!
Shabby (Monitors) Terry (Drums)

Answer to earlier question.
There was an international match the next day so no-one was allowed on the pitch!!

Where we went wrong!!

Guitar for Sale

Are there any millionaire punk rockers out there interested in buying Bob Grovers (lead singer with the Piranhas) Fender telecaster. He's playing on this link on Top of the Pops. £1000 ono Please. Help an old punk out!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8gkWWUD1rs

So, I was with Bob in the pub last night. He needs to sell his guitar to pay off some debts. He was asking for support slots. I mean this guy was a major influence on my life. I don't like to use the word 'hero' If I tell him he'll just shrug his shoulders and look embarressed. I used to like rock music before punk came along. But I only used to like the fast bit at the end or in the middle. I remember in 76/77 when the Pirahnas were a punk band. Peter and me had gone to the 'Hungry Years' in Brighton. A Heavy Metal club that used to end the evenings with 'Free Bird' or ' Hairway to Steven'. Unfortunately it was 'Steve Hillage' night. I won't go into who Steve Hillage is, you can google that youself. Bored stupid we were. Downstairs in a tiny little back room The Pirahnas were playing. There was no stage and the place was packed so they all stood on chairs (except for the drummer) so people at the back could see.
Now this won't sound shocking by todays 'say what you like' standards and people virtualy swear on daytime TV nowadays. But this was the first time I'd ever heard anyone swear on stage and all there songs were about 1:50 secs long "Suicide Suicide, Give it a try!"
It changed my life for ever. I'm just waiting for the bus to take me to the airport. Test Tubes are headling a big Punk Festival in Germany tomorrow. I'm gonna bring my camera this time I keep forgetting it. Hope I don't lose it. (pause for thought). Then next weekend its Balloch Castle, Loch Lomond in Scotland with the Audio Bullys to share the bill with the Sex Pistols. Its funny how things come full circle!! - Del

I haven’t blogged at all recently, basically because I haven’t had time and I’m starting to think it's a bit selfcentered. People have got their own lives and problems. Who wants to read about mine???. Anyhow, with Lilleth we were always on a boring plane, train or bus ride to somewhere with nothing to do but tap away until your battery ran out!

I’m tour managing the Audio Bullys at the moment and even though they don't like touring and just do long weekends and festivals, I always seem to be busy fixing or sorting out another problem for someone. We’ve recently done Soulcrusher, Wireless and Glastonbury. I felt like the page three girl in ‘Capitalist Monthly’ by getting a cab back from Glastonbury to Brighton for the measly sum of £300.00. It was 4am, no-one was answering or hearing their phone. I went back to our tour bus and Tom had set up his decks and was DJing to a packed party. With nowhere to sleep and the days of waking up on a cider soaked duey pillow behind me. As if by magic a white taxi cab seemed to glide towards me from the VIP area. “Where to mate” “Brighton £300” “Get in”. I lovely ride home watching the sun come up with Mac our LD.

We left Brighton before the cock had a chance to crow and arrived in Bolton seven hours too early at the first of two 'City Invasion' shows. The padlock was already off so the joy of the stare was denied. To the pubmobile…. I wish we were still ‘Banned from the Pubs’ cos the few and far between pubs that we visited in Bolton left a lot to be desired.

After a good old ‘Pissed and Proud’ test tube set it was back to Banjos pub ‘The Thatched House’ in Stockport for an all night lock in, completed in true original test tube style by Dave and myself.

We had to stop off somewhere off the M6 for someone’s wake on the way to London. Didn’t get to see the body though.

After another pub stop and some beautiful blackcurrant cider we stepped over a few hypocritical long faces into the bus and had a great crash out until we woke up outside the Islington Academy for show two of the ‘City Invasion Tour’.

Overall a quality fun filled weekend with the test tube party stylee in full effect.

A few thanks…Everyone who came and had a laugh with us at the bar, Vinnie from the Agnostics (Still younger than Charlie Harper!), all our American friends, Nuria from Madrid for her gifts and most of all, Banjo for looking after us in the depressed northwest.

Good Evening and it is with a heavy heart that I bring you the sad news of the inevitable demise of 'Melty the Snowman'. Doctors say he may not make it through the night.

Joe Strummer must be spinning in his grave. I didn’t start a punk band so I could help fund the American multi million dollar porn industry.

I was not consulted about the use of my music in this film and to my mind that is no way to conduct a business.

Which unlucky location will have the displeasure of our company this month......?

That's Croatia to you. Zagreb. Population 779,145 … wait a minute. Make that 779,146.

Band and crew, pockets filled with Croation Kunas line up for a photo in front of some traditional old Croation scaffolding.

I woke up at 6:00AM on Friday morning. Took a 10mg Valium and had a brandy coffee. Next thing I know, I`m being dropped off Sunday night covered in bruises!!!!

Unfortunatley, due to Mcclarens stubbornness Venables was never given a chance.

1 . I'm walking across Victoria station. Still spangled from the night before. When a young lady dressed as an Orangutan approaches me off guard. "Got any shrapnel sir!" I surrender two pence. That's all I could find. Honestly. I fumbled away in my pockets breathlessly. Her orange fur was strangely beautiful! I began to have visions of a beautiful tree house together. You know that feeling when a couple of seconds last an hour. Then you panic. Oh my god. I'm drifting away from reality. I may never come back. The fear of straight jackets and 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos' nest begin to haunt me. Then. !SNAP! Oh shit! You're back in the station! The whole world is depending on me! I quickly release the two pence peace into the bucket. She's still smiling." I hope the Orangutans survive" I mumble as I shuffle on to the train…(to be continued)

2 .I'm on the train and desperate to go into the toilet. There's somebody in there. I wait. A heavily pregnant woman gets in the queue behind me and smiles.I start to feel guilty. She's probably busting for a piss and I'm not even legitimately going to the toilet. We hear the flush. "Would you like to go first?" I told you I was a good bloke! "No you go ahead" Oh no! Even guiltier. I go into a flap trying to sort it all out before she gives birth. £50 notes are falling like confetti. I get the job done and lift the toilet seat. Disaster!! Someone's pissed all over the seat. Bastard, She'll think it's me!!

So the moral of these completely uninteresting stories are ….Never fall in love with an Orangutan, you will be cleaning up piss for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!! 

Hands up who hated it when the pink panther started talking!...and in that stupid upper class english accent....pink pratt!

I have to apologise once more for my absence but I have been laid up with another bout of lazycuntitis…

Lily got her US visa revoked, so while I was supposed to be in Las Vegas watching Britney wandering around the stage like a zombie with her gut out.....Instead I was in Brighton wandering around the back garden like zombie with my gut out. At least I wasn’t being televised..or was I..? Who knows these days..?

So a whole lovely month off. What have I been up to? Well apart from the boring stuff like catching up with the accounts, filling out tax returns and being thrown out of award ceremonies. I have been quietly busy writing and recording some tracks.

Hey Del, Loving ur grooveh tunes! Maybe one day you can help me finish learning how 2 play guitar. have a good one

Like the tracks Del. Keep up the good work and i look forward to the album. Cheers. Nik

the new songs sound fantastic del! 'you get on my nerves' is so catchy. and not like in a venereal disease sorta way. can't wait to hear more! Xx

Del! hositgoin?! Totally by coincidence we were talking about you in our blog....... and then we found Lily Allen doing All about love....... bloody brilliant track mate! And you've got a new band. Wicked.

THANK YOU! It's great to hear some great music from somebody that WAS there and STILL is! You'd better watch it, or the 'Hot Topic' crowd may latch onto you (although anything by Flesh for Lulu is safe, as they're not too big on looking into the past to find that history only repeats itself). Hope things aren't bad between you and the rest of the guys from Flesh (I saw that you both had new album/songs, and too much VH1 'Bands Reunited...) Anyhow, keep it up! And I hope you find your lost black sock- if not, my wife has lost several dozen over the last ten years (all of increasing sentimental value), and I've got them all! Kind of like being a kidnapper with a hostage (or 36 +/-)- you need something for leverage (or to just drive someone crazy). Her socks are yours, especially with the Lily Allen connection. It's great to hear something from the past come back, but new, and make you remember that the future could still be better.

Wes- (you remember, UWM w/Gene Love Jezebel in '87, Eagles Club in Milwaukee w/P.I.L. in '89? Jk, I remember and it's awesome to have some of those memories back, with more to be made. Let there be song and socks for all.

There is nothing better to prepare you in the morning than listen to 'shake myself awake', plus it also can accomodate to a bitta dancing. *Carey*xx

hey, thanks for the add. the music sounds pretty good. Shake Myself Awake is my fav. ann //xx//

heeeee yeaaaaaaa crazy music very good chido suerte y ojala podamos invitarte a mexico chao carlos pyxxxy

loving the tuneage! Thanks to you and some of your friends I'm going back to college so I can do something with my creative ideas...up until now I was working as a recruitment consultant. not any more. The music has taken hold and I've had a mid - mid life crisis. Keep it foolish and cheers for the inspiration! Xx

hey, thanks for the add! I have lately been obsessed with your song all about love. it is AMAZING!!! yeh, so... keep up the good work.

God true punk sounds so refreshing..great fucking music man!!..stay in touch .. oMNi

Del, I've just been listening... maybe it had the wrong effect on me cos I got all emotional, so Del, you did make me get drunk and now i'm blazing skunk. Rock on brother, Rock on!!

ummm....ok del i'll reserve judgement but if the album does come out,i will que up all night to get one lol :o)

I woke up yesterday and turned on my computer to listening your tunes! I was waiting for them since friday!

Trapper, Me and Shabby at a Festival in Krakow, Poland. September 2007
My Unlucky Day

HOT OFF THE PRESS....Mark Verrion aka Skweech/Scab...Has left the Masked Raiders to start a new life in California. Bookies favourite, Paul ' H ' Henrickson is set to be named as his replacement!!

Sorry about contracting lazyblogitis.
So wadbinappenin!!

A Quiet Night In!

Tired but Inpsired…
…enough to write this anyway.
Went to Spain on Sunday only to discover that my electricity had been cut off. Took a couple of days to sort that out (191.00) Euros. I foolishly decided to take the 'skin of your teeth express` to Gibraltar. (3.75 Euros). I am missing the big feria in my village this week to do Japan and Australia, so I had a few drinks in the `El Gecko` to make up for it before I left. Another mistake. Got the train with a bottle of Bornos, but, as if by surprise, developed the famous Bornos blackout and left my bag when I got off. Itch, itch, itch. I got a taxi driver to overtake the train and got my bag at the next station. After a spot of cash point hunting (50.00 Euros) and bit of car trouble I finally arrived at Gibraltar airport to discover they had closed the gate. The plane was still on the runway but I`m sure everyone has been there before…. No way! ….God my bites itch! So, after paying for another flight (200.00 Euros) I decided to find an English pub with Wi Fi (or Wiffy as the Spanish call it!)

After a quick airport search ' The Lord Nelson' popped up and they did a fine pint of Scrumpy Jack or six. (36.00 Euros but worth it!..not per pint…Total!..Der!!)
Ooh my bites still hurt from sleeping rough…whoops! nearly gave the middle of the story away there!

So here I am sitting in the 'Naeba Princes Ski Resort at Fuji Rock Festival in Japan, finishing a can of strongbow and about to hit the festival with the girls and boys!

Anyway…in true Tarantino style , rewind and fast forward to the present. Just got in and had a great festival laugh. Ricky from the Keiser Chefs ( Yes..I know, it was deliberate!) was pushing me on the big fast spin around swingy thing when he trod in a puddle got a bootful and fell over and grazed all his arm up.

They should rename the Gatwick Express, `The Gatwick Tortoise.' Feel like pushing the emergency button and running along beside it. Bet I get to Victoria first!!

Ideas That Will Never Happen… Pt IIIV
We are on at the same time as the Keisers but on different stages (obviously…ed!) Piss off your fired. So we came up with this idea. After synchronising watches. We are both gonna stop at the same time and Ricky`s going to shout 'Day Oh!'...and Lilys gonna shout from the other stage 'Day Oh!'..and then the whole festival is gonna sing. 'Daylight come and I wanna go home!!.

Forget that Shit sir I just wrote Mr hyde is here again, Fuck th Goddamm 'for the goodness. Anbyway we rabbitted foer hours then felled asheepeep…

321, your back in the room.

So back to Thursday. Got thrown out the pub and decided in a drunken haze that I`d wasted enough money, so I was gonna sleep rough until check in at 6:20 AM. Another bad decision as I have now been bitten to within an inch of my life by mosquitos and an idiot thought it would be funny to try and piss on me…. One swift right hand jab and the guy rolls down the bank and hits is head on a palm tree, as you do! The police arrive… Ola Ola Ola…

That's where the word 'gibberish` comes from, you know. Gibraltan and English. A sort of mixture of Spanish and English. Seeee…. informative AND entertaining!

After foolish decision number 237 in a series of ten million… I have plotted up on a nice grassy bank between a couple of Burt Lancasters palm trees. A glorified gutter if you wish! I explain to the police that I`ve missed my flight and I`m just killing time `til the next one etc…
Suddenly the unconscious guy gets up and legs it?
The Gibraltan police give chase. I go back to sleep in my million star hotel. Only to be woken at 5AM by a gang of Gibraltan girls, rebelling against thier parents, for having to grow up on a huge piece of concrete modelled after Canning Town!
"What you doing 'ere mate!.
I`m waiting to got to Japan.
"What you going there for?"
Doing a festival. I work for a singer.
"Ooo?"
Lily Allen.
"Liar!. We love `er"

Tokyo.
Present Day
Just pissed off an American. He walked away in mid conversation. Didn't like my views on Iraq. Prefered CNN version.

Travelodge Marelybone… No Show!... (120.00 Euros)

After a couple of dabs, me, my broken finger and the girls decide to go to a 24 hour diner in La Linea, where they serve Spanish style G&T`s. Always thought that was a great name for a Spanish costal town "The Line" itch itch!

Oops I did it Again!
Daylight come and I nearly miss plane…again!
Who`d employ me?
Anyway I make it but I`m fog bound. Well the plane is.

All aboard the Gatwick Tortoise (20.00 Euros) and then into London traffic in a taxi (75.00 Euros). After much lying and cheating and pushing in, I make it to the gate for my flight to Japan with two minutes to spare. Lily rings me to tell me off for being late. If only she knew. …and then tells me I stink of alcohol and piss and look like I slept rough last night.

..and this is only the stuff I can remember!

After a successful show at the Fuji Rock Festival. We returned to my local in Tokyo. The Dubliners Irish pub. The perfect pint of Guinness and some traditional fish and chips with wasabi sauce and air conditioning.

"Mr Del. It`s time to go home. I think you`ve had enough. See you tomorrow!"

Anyway fed up of typing with a broken finger and two million mozzie bites..itch!

If I wake up screaming. I`ll let you know!

Who`d be me!!

Made it back to my secret location holiday via Tokyo, Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, Heathrow, Gatwick and Gibraltar. Spent the week chilling and getting over jet lag. Laying in the hammock writing this blog while listening to some reggae with a nice glass of Frexeneit. This is what life's all about.
Went to see my fiend Marcus play at Messas bar last night.
Sorry for my nonappearance at the Rebellion festival this weekend. This was due to other touring commitments that didn`t happen in the end. Plus the fact, H, has just had a baby (Medical first!). His name is Lenny.
We`ll be back next year!

Heres a quick quiz. The clue is in the title.

Pair the country with the short description.

1    Japan
2    Australia
3    United Kingdom

A Beautiful and Sunny with a High Standard of Living
B Extremely Polite and Efficient
C Dirty, Shit, Poor and Full of Rude Arrogant Thick Greedy
Money Making Bastards that haven` t got a Fucking Clue!!!

Here are the Answers..

1.    B
2.    A
3.    C

Hi. So before we start tonight` s show, here `s the latest non celebrity gossip....

(*Warning... Do Not Read First Thing in The Morning or While Under the Influence of A Narcotic Mood Swing. This May Lead to Misunderstanding, Paranoia and Missing of Point. The Manufacturer Recommends a Relaxed Mood, a Couple of Cans and a Spliff)

So, just to let you know that the shows in Southampton and Brighton have been cancelled due to the implosion of Peters Dream Team ( A phrase coined by AD). Word on the grapevine is said to have Walnut resigning in a red faced rage at Concrete Jungle last weekend. While Andy Aggros stylist has advised him against another visit to the red light district of Southampton after what happened `last time`!!!

After the collapse of the Locomotive Record Deal due to unconceivable differences between Peter and the aforementioned record company. Regular checks around the corner for a deal heading the bands way have proved fruitless. Anyone who was bored of waiting in the queue before we finally decided to go with Locomotive Music may no return with their wheelbarrow filled with Euros.

As I was doing the washing up when something caught my eye. A bird had landed on the window cill! I assumed it must have sensed that I was watching and instantaneously decided to fly away as quickly as possible. I could not have caught it through the glass anyway and even if I was quick enough and had what would I have done with it??

This month I`ve been to New York. Where the native New Yorkers failed to seize the moment and exploit this great photo opportunity!

That`s about it for tonight. So I`ll say goodbye and leave you with a joke...

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